


they say "this is the part where you cut your losses"

by caimani



Category: Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Angst, Curses, Multi, Reincarnation, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-06 17:29:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13416111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caimani/pseuds/caimani
Summary: The curse will tear them apart if they let go of each other. During their first lifetime, they swore that would never happen. That they would always love each other, no matter what. But unending repetition of the same tragedies is starting to wear on them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok this is a really weird concept and it's not very happy. please heed the warnings. there's a pretty open ending though, so you can imagine whatever you want. idk I might do something else in this au later.  
> (please DON'T read this for the podcast)

This isn’t fair. Nothing about this is fucking fair. They should have had more time.

The gash in Otto’s side is still bleeding. His lungs are burning from exertion. He’s not sure how much longer he can keep fighting and running and hiding. His grip on the sword is feeble.

He’s slumped against the crumbling remains of a building. All around him, the world is on fire. The water has turned to lava. Everything that used to be alive is now a pile of smouldering embers and ashes. The sky is thick with smoke, and it rains even more fire on the hellish landscape.

And somewhere, hovering over all of the death and destruction, is Awsten. Overcome by the curse. Again. Otto’s hand tightens around the handle of the sword. How many lifetimes has it been? How many times has it all ended like this? Too many.

With his free hand, Otto reaches for the necklace around his neck. The other necklace. Geoff’s. The grief hits him hard and he sinks to the ground, shaking with tears.

They were so close. They would have broken the curse this time, Otto is sure of it. They were all together and they were just outside the sacred circle. But then the curse hit faster than it’s ever done before and Otto could only turn and watch in horror as Awsten…

“YOU’VE LOST, OTTO!” Awsten’s curse-laden voice echoes over the screaming earth. Otto gets shakily to his feet and raises the sword again. He peeks around the corner of the ruins. Awsten is nearby, although he’s searching for Otto in the opposite direction at the moment. He’s soaring above the flames on wings as white as his hair. 

Otto narrows his eyes at the sight of how far the curse has pushed Awsten’s body this time. Maybe he can’t do anything to save him—or bring back Geoff—but he can at least try to finish this before the curse tortures Awsten anymore. As long as Otto kills Awsten with the blade, Awsten won’t remember any of this in the next life.

He shouldn’t remember this. 

“COME ON, OTTO,” Awsten shouts. “YOU’VE LOST EVERYTHING. _AGAIN_. IT’S TIME TO GIVE UP.” 

Otto will never give up. Not to that damned curse. He races out from his cover and charges at Awsten. The sound of the widespread fire masks his approach for a while, but just before Otto reaches Awsten, he turns. 

It’s worse than it’s ever been before. Awsten’s eyes are pure white and bleeding. Every inch of his skin has turned white. The curse has taken over so much of his body, causing white feathers to rip through his skin in patches all over. It’s turned the man that Otto and Geoff both love so dearly into a horrific monster. 

Awsten’s mouth is forced into a grin. He dances out of the way of Otto’s first strike with the sword. Otto keeps swinging, trying to at least bring him down to the ground. 

“DON’T YOU THINK GEOFF IS TIRED OF DYING?” Awsten says. They’re not his words, Otto knows, but it still hurts so much to hear Awsten’s voice say them. “YOU THINK THEY DON’T REMEMBER IT, BUT THEY DO!”

Again, Otto slashes desperately at Awsten and the blade finally makes contact with one of the wings. Awsten screeches and tumbles to the ground. Otto races forwards, hoping to stab him in the heart while he’s down and end this, but Awsten rolls out of the way just in time. The sword ends up buried in the other wing, pinning Awsten to the burning earth. Unfortunately, if Otto wants to strike again, he needs to pull the sword out.

Awsten’s screams of pain give way to horrible laughter. He tries to reach for the sword and Otto kicks his arm away.

“I’M TELLING THE TRUTH,” he says with a wicked smirk. Blood stains his mouth. “THEY BOTH REMEMBER IT, EVERY TIME. RIGHT AS GEOFF DIES, HE REMEMBERS EVERY DEATH. EVERY TIME YOU FAILED TO SAVE HIM. AND AWSTEN REMEMBERS KILLING HIM.”

“Shut up.” Otto hisses. He pulls the sword out quickly and swings it high to hopefully cut Awsten in half, but Awsten evades him again. He dances out of the way, both wings broken and bleeding, dragging in the fire and ashes at their feet.

“HE REMEMBERS EVERY TIME _YOU’VE_ KILLED HIM!” Awsten says in between bursts of laughter. “EVERY TIME, OTTO!”

Otto yells in fury and charges forwards again. Awsten blocks his next sword strike with one of his damaged wings.

“It’s your fault!” Otto yells. “Not his! Not mine!”

“DO YOU THINK GEOFF WOULDN’T BLAME AWSTEN, IF HE REMEMBERED? DO YOU THINK AWSTEN WOULDN’T BLAME _HIMSELF_ FOR BEING SO WEAK?”

“He’s not weak! Neither of them are weak!” Full of rage, Otto slams the flat of the sword down, forcing the wing out of the way. He swings the blade again, cutting into Awsten, but not deep enough. 

Awsten grabs the blade with his bare hands, kicks at Otto’s wrists at the handle, and yanks it out before Otto can recover from the surprise blow. Otto gasps, eyes wide. All he can see is Awsten’s face, twisted by the curse, approaching him too fast.

And then the sword is buried in his own chest. For a second, all Otto can feel is shock. Then the pain comes, throbbing and slowly overwhelming every inch of his body. Awsten’s face is still in front of his, smiling wickedly as the blood continues to paint his pale cheeks red.

Otto’s failed.

For the first time, he’s failed to kill Awsten. To protect him from the awful reality of their curse.

“N-no,” Otto chokes. He collapses and Awsten catches him, letting go of the sword to grab Otto.

“TOO BAD, OTTO,” Awsten says, watching with delight as Otto starts to die. “LOOKS LIKE YOU’LL BE THE ONE FORGETTING THIS TIME. IT’LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT AWSTEN DOES WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE.”

“You… bastard…” Otto gasps. 

Awsten laughs as Otto dies. And the world ends once more.

~~~~

Sometimes, Geoff feels like he’s missing a piece of himself. It’s weird, and when he mentions it to anyone besides Otto, they all think he’s weird. He would feel bad about it, like it means he isn’t happy to have his boyfriend. But the one time Geoff accidentally admitted it to him, Otto said he felt the same way.

And it’s so frustrating. It’s like… soulmates are just a bullshit romance story thing, right? And Geoff isn’t even sure what he’s feeling is anything like his and Otto’s missing soulmate. 

But what if? What if there’s someone out there who’s supposed to fit in with Geoff and Otto?

He’s happy with Otto. And Otto’s happy with him. But… something’s missing. Something incredibly important.

Neither of them have any idea how to start looking for the piece or person that’s missing in their lives. They’ve tried going on dates with people, but it’s hard to find someone they both like who isn’t just interested in a sexy threesome with them. They try adopting dogs and cats. While all of their pets are great, they don’t quite fill that weird void.

Then, one afternoon when they’re about to go on a hike in an old forest together, something happens. As they’re approaching the entrance to the trail on foot, they catch sight of a young, brown haired man getting on a bicycle. 

He’s just a normal looking guy in a large colorful sweater. But seeing him, even from afar, instantly fills the empty spot in Geoff’s heart with life and the same love-at-first-sight he felt when he met Otto for the first time. He freezes in shock, and beside him, so does Otto. 

Geoff looks at Otto hopefully, wondering if he feels it too.

Otto meets his eyes with a bright smile. “That’s… that’s got to be him.”

Geoff and Otto break into a run, since the guy is getting on a bike and they can’t afford to lose him.

“Hey!” Geoff yells, waving his arm to get the guy’s attention.

The guy looks over at them. His face immediately fills with dread. He doesn’t say a word and starts to pedal rapidly away.

“No, wait, please!” Otto yells. They try to chase after the guy, but he’s fast on his bike. Even running as fast as they can, it’s impossible to catch up with him. Soon, he disappears from sight. 

If possible, the hole in Geoff’s heart is more painful than ever.

“That was him,” he says hollowly.

Otto grabs his arm, panting. “We… we haven’t lost him. Not… not completely. He’s… gotta live somewhere nearby, right? Now that… we know what he looks like…”

Geoff smiles. “Yeah. We can…” he trails off as something sort of clicks in his mind. He can’t quite explain it. It’s almost like… like maybe seeing that person has just unlocked something. Like a memory of something. Geoff glances back in the direction they just came from. 

“What’s wrong?” Otto says.

“I…” Geoff isn’t sure. He walks back towards the start of the trail. Otto follows, confused. 

“This is connected to him,” Geoff murmurs, surprising himself with the words coming out of his mouth. “And us.”

Otto tries to grab him to make him slow down, but Geoff can’t. He leads Otto back to the trail. He needs to take it. That… whatever it is… it’s getting stronger. He’s getting closer. Geoff continues along the trail, walking faster.

“Geoff, can you please tell me what’s going on?” Otto says. 

“I… I don’t know,” Geoff admits. “But it feels like… like I have to do this.” Somehow this is connected to the empty hole in their hearts. And to that person who fled from them. He’s not sure how he knows it, but he does. That knowledge should scare him, but for some unknown reason, it doesn’t.

But the most important thing, apart from the fact that they’ve finally come across the person who’s been missing is this: something really weird is going on and Geoff is going to find out what. He has to. 

The trail soon leads them to a very old and moss-covered stone structure, surrounded by a low round wall. The structure inside is ancient and looks like a small dilapidated tower. There’s an old stone archway in the wall around it. Geoff hesitates. This place feels like something that shouldn’t belong here. But _he_ belongs here. 

He starts for the archway, but Otto grabs his arm. His face is tight with fear.

“What?” Geoff asks.

“I…” Otto shakes his head. “It’s so… I know I’ve never been here before, but I feel like I have. Like… deja vu.”

Geoff looks at the stone structure. “I don’t feel that,” he admits. “I just feel like… I don’t know, like there are answers in here.”

Otto still doesn’t look happy, so Geoff holds his hand comfortingly as he walks through the archway. He carefully approaches the opening at the base of the tower. He can see something hanging inside, something metal.

A sword.

Carefully, Geoff reaches into the opening and takes the sword out. Otto stares at it, then looks into the opening in the tower. 

“Is that it?”

Geoff hefts the sword in his hand. It’s heavy and the style looks very old. Regardless, it’s shiny and probably sharp. There’s no designs on it, or any writing to suggest who it used to belong to. Shame. Now that it’s in his hand, however, the feeling that led Geoff here is gone.

Geoff shrugs and offers the sword to Otto. Otto shakes his head quickly. 

“No, I’m good.” He glances around the place again, still looking like he’d rather be anywhere but here. “Should look around to see if there’s anything else?”

They scour the rest of the place, but there’s nothing else, apart from the stones and moss and leavy underbrush on the ground. Feeling kind of disappointed, Geoff walks out under the arch again.

As he does, however, the blade of the sword suddenly flashes white. An unfamiliar laugh echoes in the air around him. Geoff yells and drops the sword on the ground. Otto races over.

“What happened?”

Geoff shakes his head. “I… think the sword just… didn’t you hear that?”

Otto looks at him worriedly. “I heard _you_. Was there something else?”

“Yes!” Geoff points at the sword. “Pick it up.”

Otto grimaces and reaches down to pick up the sword. The moment his hand makes contact with it, his mouth drops open in shock and he jumps away.

“What the hell?” he exclaims. “You heard that? That laugh?”

Geoff nods. The sword is calling to him again, more insistently. Carefully, he reaches for it once more. He pokes it. Nothing happens, apart from the weird calling sensation going away as soon as his hand touches it. Geoff picks it up again.

No laugh. No white flash. 

Somehow, that’s even more ominous.

~~~~

“Fuck!” Awsten yells, slamming his hand against a brick wall. He’s definitely escaped Otto and Geoff, but… fuck. They weren’t supposed to find him. He was going to keep them safe. He was going to keep this shit from happening again. 

The memory of killing Geoff and Otto in their last life haunts him constantly. He was the cause of it. He was the one who the curse took over. He stole the sword from them twice to kill them both.

He thought, if he just tried to ignore that ache in his heart that begged him every day to go find Otto and Geoff… if he could just give them up, they’d be okay. They could be happy together. Without him.

But it fucking hurts. It kills him knowing that they’re out there and he can’t let himself be near them. 

And just now, seeing them was like everything good had finally arrived in his life. If it wasn’t for how scared he is of that memory repeating again—and it _will_ repeat again, that’s how the curse works—he would have stayed.

Is a short time being happy together worth the awful, painful, inevitable end? 

Miserable, Awsten sits down the ground, leaning his back against the brick wall. He doesn’t even know how this all happened. From what he remembers… Otto was the one who had the memories last time. In their last life. He didn’t tell them much. Awsten remembers him telling them that the curse was trying to break the bond they all had, but it would never work unless they all gave up on each other. And that they could make their bond strong enough to defeat the curse by going to… that place. 

They didn’t make it in their last life. Even though Otto said they had plenty of time. 

Awsten shivers as the memory comes back. The memory of the curse taking him over. Able to do nothing but watch as it forced him to grab the sword from Geoff and…

Awsten grabs the three necklaces tangled together around his throat. The only thing he has of them. He closes his eyes tightly. This isn’t fair. 

Sitting on the ground with his eyes shut, he doesn’t see that a few strands of his hair have already started to turn white.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. yeah. never thought Id revisit this fic. but Ive been thinking about it a lot lately. its some fun angst. this bit takes place before the events of the first part.

It’s taken more incarnations than he likes to think about, but Otto has finally figured some things out.

First: the curse is a lot more cruel than he had imagined in their first lifetime. He had thought… he had feared it would be a few reincarnations of trying to find each other and losing each other. But no, it’s worse than that. The curse forces them to kill each other in each lifetime. It tears at the one thing that pulls them together: their love. Their devotion to one another. Their unwavering loyalty.

Even though both Awsten and Geoff have sworn, time and time again, that they’ll never hate each other— or Otto— for what’s happening to them, it’s still hard. It’s not fucking fair. Otto’s heart breaks every time he sees Awsten kill Geoff. Every time he has to kill Awsten to restart their doomed cycle.

Second: the curse always finds them. No matter how long they try to delay it. Even when Otto warns them what to avoid, what to look out for, what the telltale signs are. They might make it a year, they might make it ten years. But it always finds Awsten or Geoff, and Otto will come back to find Awsten standing over Geoff’s body, covered in blood. 

One time… it must have been eight incarnations ago… Otto thought they were safe. He thought, even if they couldn’t break the curse, they could at least live away from it. 

In that lifetime, the curse didn’t even give them a warning. They were happily falling asleep in bed together when Awsten suddenly jolted up and screamed. Otto barely had time to pull Geoff out of the way before the sword _materialized in Awsten’s hands _and poor Awsten looked over at them with a mad grin.__

___“THOUGHT IT’D BE THAT EASY, OTTO? THINK AGAIN!”_ _ _

__Third: if Otto is the one to kill Awsten when the curse inevitably takes over, then he retains all of his memories of each incarnation. The memories are a burden, but he’s willing to carry as many memories as he needs if it means Geoff and Awsten don’t have to remember._ _

__Awsten shouldn’t have to know. It’s not his fault. Only Otto remembers how this all happened, and he can’t let Awsten or Geoff learn the truth._ _

__Fourth: breaking the curse is impossible._ _

__Otto looks across the table at Geoff and Awsten. Both of them are silent, waiting for Otto to continue explaining their curse. Otto’s kept it brief, kept some details out._ _

__“So… how exactly do we break it?” Geoff says finally. “You said we’ve tried, in our past lifetimes. Is it that hard?”_ _

__Otto clenches his fists and looks away. “It’s…”_ _

__He can remember the voice like it was yesterday, even though it was so many lifetimes ago. Awsten’s face, splattered with Geoff’s blood, leaning over him with a sadistic gleam in his eyes._ _

___“OH IT’S NOT THAT DIFFICULT, OTTO.”_ _ _

__“You’ve learned what to expect by now, right?” Awsten says. Otto feels guilty that he hasn’t told him what his eventual fate will be—_ _

__No. He’s got to keep hoping. This time… this time might be different._ _

___“YOU FIND THE CIRCLE.”_ _ _

__“There’s a sacred circle,” Otto says. “Well… there are two places that are important. The altar with the sword, which looks different each time. And the circle, which always looks the same. Every time, Geoff’s the one who’s drawn to both. He—” Otto looks at Geoff. “You can find it. Somehow. I don’t know how that works.”_ _

__“What’s the significance of those things?” Geoff says._ _

___“AND THEN YOU KILL YOUR LOVERS IN THE CIRCLE BEFORE I CAN TOUCH THEM. THEN THE WORLD STARTS AGAIN, ONE LAST TIME. AND YOU’LL BE FREE.”_ _ _

__Otto swallows. “We bring the sword to the sacred circle. And there’s a ritual we have to do. The… the ritual isn’t always the same,” and the lie comes so easily, but he can see Awsten and Geoff’s faces lighting up with hope as they imagine how easy it’ll be this time, “But it’s… it’s something we all participate in.”_ _

__“So we just find a sword and do a ritual?” Awsten says, standing up excitedly. “That doesn’t sound too hard!”_ _

__Geoff frowns. “Is that it? I mean, not to jinx this, but—”_ _

__“Geoff—” Otto feels so _guilty_._ _

__“It seems kinda… easy? Is there anything else?”_ _

__Otto sighs. “It’s… the curse never makes it easy. It fucks with us, lets us get close.” Lets them hope. Lets _Otto_ hope. The last time… god, they were so close. Otto was so excited. And then he turned to look at Awsten right as he ran at Otto, knocked him to the ground, grabbed the sword out of his stunned arms—_ _

__“This time will be different,” Awsten says, with a determined grin. He reaches out to pull Otto up from his chair. “Come on, let’s go find that sword!”_ _

__Otto finds himself nodding, smiling back even if he can’t get the haunting memories out of his head._ _

__Maybe this time will be different. He takes Awsten’s hand._ _


End file.
